Monday, December 24, 2012

Stories and Short Poems for Kids: A Family Reading Night

Reading stories and short poems for kids aloud to your children is a critical step in teaching your child to read, but it has a wonderful hidden benefit as well. When you take the time to read to your children you are taking time with them, with no distractions, no cell phone, no computer, no TV. You are showing them that they are an important priority for you. They will love that special time with you, no matter their age.

Many of our read aloud story times have led to some great heart to heart discussions. Reading stories together gives us time to slow down and a reason to talk about things that maybe we wouldn't on a day to day basis. Stories are a wonderful way to teach life lessons, reinforce good choices, model positive morals and open the door to talk about life's difficulties such as sickness or death, dating or peer pressure.

As your children get older and you move into more challenging reading material they will benefit greatly from the discussions that will arise during your story time. Keep communication lines open with your children by simply reading to them. The relationship and communication that your family read aloud times will establish can carry you through what could be some very tough teenage years.

Stories and Short Poems for Kids: A Family Reading Night

There is simply something magical about stories. We are all drawn into them, no matter our age. Sometimes my older child doesn't feel like joining in our reading times because he's too busy listening to music or on his iPod, but inevitably, as we get into the story he is drawn into the room from wherever he was. He can't help but listen - and usually sits down with us to hear the rest of the story.

Institute a story night in your home this week, and if your older children roll their eyes at you just smile, they will learn to love that special time with you.

Stories and Short Poems for Kids: A Family Reading Night
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Kristina Harding has more tips on establishing a family reading night using stories and short poems for kids and more short story fun at Short-Story-Time.com.

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Friday, December 21, 2012

What is Short Story? Learn About the Short Story Genre

Short story is a fictional work which depicts one character's inner conflict or conflict with others. It usually has one thematic focus.

The short story, as the name suggests is basically "short" which runs in length from a sentence to four pages, or to novellas that can be 100 pages long. And therefore, it shows the characteristics of both the short story and the novel. Since some works overlap the definitional lines of the three forms of fiction namely short stories, novella, and novel, it is better to consider the term as approximate rather than absolute.

Short stories usually produce in the reader an emotional and intellectual response. Novels, on the contrary, generally represent conflicts among many characters developed through various episodes, which stimulate a complexity of responses in the reader.

What is Short Story? Learn About the Short Story Genre

Short Tales vs. Modern Short Story:

It is interesting to learn and differentiate short tales and the modern short stories. Short tales go back to the genesis of human speech, and some were written by the Egyptians as long ago as around 2000 B.C. They basically dramatize a simple theme and subject and give emphasis to narrative over characterization. The modern short stories, on the other hand, emphasize language, characterization, mood, and style over the narrative itself.

Distinction Between Commercial and Literary Fiction:

Commercial and literary fiction also needs to be differentiated within the short story genre. Commercial short fiction, From O. Henry to Stephen King, has traditionally employed predictable plot formulas, depicted stock characters, conflicts, and superficial themes. Literary short fiction on the other hand employs complex techniques in order to show the irresolvable dilemmas of the human predicament.

What is Short Story? Learn About the Short Story Genre
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Rakesh Patel is an aspiring poet, freelance writer, self-published author and teacher. Read my blog http://englishliterature99.wordpress.com

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Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Christmas Short Stories: Reading Holiday Favorites Together

Ready to start a fun new tradition using great Christmas short stories?

Most families have a Christmas tradition or two that they look forward to sharing together year after year. Traditions draw us closer together and allow us to slow down and enjoy the Christmas season; they're also something special to share with future generations. If you don't have a Christmas tradition, try reading Christmas short stories together this year! It's free, meaningful and gives a slight pause to each day of the hustle and bustle that comes with the holiday season.

Begin on December 1st and read a story each night until Christmas. You may want to plan ahead by having each family member pick out several of their favorite holiday stories to have on hand. You can borrow some from your local library, download them to your iPod (many can be downloaded free), or listen to audio stories. If you are stuck and don't have enough favorites for each day, explore some new stories. We've created a list below to help get you started.

Christmas Short Stories: Reading Holiday Favorites Together

Make story time special by turning off the TV, computers, and iPods after dinner each night (unless of course, you've downloaded your Christmas short stories to your iPod). Light some candles, or gather the family around the lit Christmas tree. Make some apple cider or hot chocolate and have a small treat like a Christmas sugar cookie or shortbread to go with your hot drink. Then settle in to read, or listen to, your Christmas short stories.

You'll be surprised at how much your family will look forward to this quiet time with each other and you may even have some wonderful conversations during or after reading these timeless Christmas short stories together. Story time is also a great way to wind everyone down before bed, both young and old.

Make this Christmas special and begin a tradition that your family will look forward to each year. Your kids will remember this tradition and may even pass it on to their kids someday!

Here are some stories to get you started. You can find many of these free online.
The Gift, by R. Louis Carroll The Story of Babouska T'was the Night Before Christmas, by Clement C. Moore The Christmas Story, the Bible - Matthew Chapters 1&2 The Gift of the Magi, by O. Henry The Little Match Seller, by Hans Christian Anderson The Selfish Giant, by Oscar Wilde The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus, by L. Frank Baum A Kidnapped Santa Claus, by L. Frank Baum The Cobbler and His Guest, by Anne McCollum Boyles The Story of the Candy Cane

We hope that you enjoy reading them and continue the tradition for years to come.

Christmas Short Stories: Reading Holiday Favorites Together
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Kristina Harding shares more Christmas short stories and more short story fun on her site at Short-Story-Time.com.

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Friday, December 14, 2012

Writing 101: The Short Story

The most difficult and easiest task of all writing is the Short Story. It's easy if you have a great idea. It's impossible if you don't. To me the best short story ever written is The Book of Job. The most beautiful short story is The Book of Ruth. The best modern short story is Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea.

Now you will say, The Old Man and the Sea is a short novel. Well you are right and I'm right. Let's keep it that way so that we remain friends. The Old Man and the Sea has the elements needed in a good short story except as you said, it's too long if you put a length limit on short stories. My novels are "short" stories if you compare them based only on length to War and Peace. They do not have the elements of a short story. Well, maybe the first chapter of Revenge on the Mogollon Rim does.

In a novel you can wonder hither and yawn and your readers will not only enjoy it, but they will forgive you. In the short story, you must stick to the point. The "point" is the whole purpose of the short story.

Writing 101: The Short Story

Edgar Allen Poe was the greatest writer from Boston. I put it that way as to not offend the other greatest writers. I hope it doesn't offend Poe. I don't want him haunting me every night. Some of his poems are short stories that he didn't stretch out. His short stories are weird but poignant. He invented the detective story.

Poe was found delirious in a Baltimore gutter and died on October 7, 1849 (see http://www.online-literature.com/poe/). Also, Hemingway shot himself up the road a few miles from here. One mustn't take short story writing too seriously. That is why I've remained a hack writer. I call myself "Taylor Jones, the hack writer" to remind me of that fact.

Hemingway learned his writing techniques from the Kansas City Star. He said, "Those were the best rules I ever learned for the business of writing. I've never forgotten them." Here are the rules: short sentences, short paragraphs, active verbs, authenticity, compression, clarity and immediacy. (See http://www.lostgeneration.com/childhood.htm.) Go sit in a corner and memorize these rules. You will need them to write a good short story.

You must remember emphasis and subordination. My old text says so. In other words, "What's hot and what's not?" Emotions, settings, the theme (only one allowed), must be fused snugly together. Here are some examples:

The Book of Ruth: A clever lady snags a husband.

Heart of Darkness: A weird jungle tale by Joseph Conrad. Speaking of MOOD! The horror!

Miss Brill: Katherine Mansfield tells of an old lady losing her self esteem due to thoughtless comments of youngsters. This story is sad.

The Killers: Hemingway's famous story about how Nick Adams is more concerned about death by assassination then is the elected victim.

For Esmé-with Love and Squalor: The story about a little girl and a soldier. You must read this story by J. D. Salinger. Have a hankerchef at the ready.

The Book of Job: The devil picks on God's servant, Job.

Let's write a short story now.

First, take an idea, hook one end to the shady side of your barn and the other end to your mule walking south. Your idea is a wide rubber band. As the mule walks and stretches the band, the band narrows. When it reaches what we engineers call its elastic limit, it will break. Just before it breaks, it is War and Peace. When stretched thin, it is still a novel. Somewhere before that you have a short story.

Now think of point of view. First person is good. Poe liked this view. At any rate, don't go beyond what the protagonist can see and hear with his or her own eyes. Remember this if you write in the third person as did Hemingway. You must not stand back and look at your story through a telescope. It must be intimate.

The protagonist is the main character. Who is the antagonist? You may need one in your story to be mean, nasty, cruel, uncaring, or having some other less than wonderful human trait. (You don't need an antagonist in every short story. Most but not all such stories are called "boring.")

Okay, let's take an idea and run with it.

The sun beat down on the soggy field. Trevor was soaked from the rain, but now the warmth of the sun was quickly drying him. He slapped Bossy on the rump and said, "Let's get to the barn, Bossy. If I don't get you milked before Pa comes home, I'll get the stick." That's when Trevor slipped on a cow patty and slid down the hill into the irrigation ditch. Bossy stared at the irrigation ditch for a while and then went back to chewing her cud.

Writing 101: The Short Story
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Sunday, December 9, 2012

Writing Your Life Story - Tips And Techniques For Success

Once a luxury of the rich and famous, technology has, for the first time in history, made it possible for anyone to capture, share and preserve their most precious life stories. With the advent of computers, the Internet, digital photography, video, and audio, anyone can capture the richness and texture of their life stories. These personal histories will be appreciated by family, friends, and future generations.

Today it is possible to easily blend the art of traditional biography and memoir with powerful new technologies into a new form of individual life storytelling: the personal life history. Personal life histories are satisfying to create. And, because of the interactive multimedia possibilities inherent in computers and the web, a well-done personal life history can be rich and fully rounded in ways that are impossible to achieve in text-only memoir or biography. But most importantly, personal life histories preserve vital individual and family stories. And, when properly done, they will last for generations.

In this article you will discover how to use time-honored life story writing techniques along with the latest technologies to create a story that is uniquely "you."

Writing Your Life Story - Tips And Techniques For Success

The Art of Traditional Life-Story Formats

For anyone interested in creating their own autobiography, memoir or personal life history, it is important to understand the distinctions between these forms of telling one's own life story. To over-generalize for a moment, an autobiography is more fact-based, while a memoir is more emotion-based.

Autobiographies are written by the subject, sometimes with the collaboration of another writer. Autobiographical works take many forms, from intimate writings made during life that are not necessarily intended for publication (including letters, diaries, journals, memoirs, and reminiscences) to the formal autobiography. Interestingly, the autobiography format does not necessarily have to be true. It may also be a literary fictional tale.

Memoirs are a form of personal recollection that has grown enormously in popularity in recent times. Memoirs often focus on more subjective recollections such as memories, feelings, and emotions and are generally written from the first-person viewpoint. The memoir is often focused on capturing certain meaningful highlights or moments.

In his own Memoir, Palimpest, Gore Vidal writes that "a memoir is how one remembers one's own life, while an autobiography is history, requiring research, dates, facts double-checked."

Memoirs usually focus on a brief period of time or a series of connected events (an autobiography covers a longer time period). In a memoir, the writer is usually retrospective, and contemplating past events. Memoirs may incorporate the techniques of storytelling such as setting, plot, conflict, character development, foreshadowing, flashback, irony or symbolism. And lastly, writing one's memoir often has a therapeutic effect for the writer.

Oral History Recordings

An oral history is a verbatim transcription of an interview, left in the narrator's exact words. These are usually left in a question-and-answer style and are an economical way to preserve family stories. A recording system with a good-quality microphone and a quiet spot free from interruptions are all that is really needed to capture an oral history. It helps to have questions prepared in advance of the interview.

Oral histories are usually recorded using analog tape or digital recording equipment, but it is also possible to record directly into a personal computer. Oral histories are often transcribed (typed or word processed) into a document format. The conversational style is appealing for its easygoing informality.

Caveats: Recording formats and standards are constantly evolving and could become difficult or impossible to play back if the equipment becomes obsolete. Taped recordings decay over time.

Video History Recordings

Do-it-Yourself: At the basic level, it's easy and fun to create a basic video history. Camcorders are relatively inexpensive, and many computers today come with basic editing software. Capturing a good video history shares all of the same prerequisites as an audio recording: a quiet spot, with questions prepared in advance. Plus, you will want an uncluttered background, flattering lighting, and right clothing to improve the quality of the end product. White shirts, pants or dresses, for example don't show up well on video. Likewise, busy patterns can be distracting. Solid light-colored neutrals or pastels are usually safe.

Professional videographers: A large number of professional video companies specialize in the creation of life story productions. Productions may range from a 10 or 15 minute short to an hour or longer mini-movie, complete with titles, music, and other Hollywood-style effects. Naturally, you'll pay more for a professional production than a homegrown effort.

When selecting a professional use all the usual smart-consumer tips. Ask for references. Ask to see samples of prior work. Get all costs, production timetables and commitments in writing. It's delightful to have movies of an individual or family. When well-executed they often have entertainment value and are great for special occasions.

Caveat: As with audio recordings, formats change over time, and media can degrade, even with proper storage methods

The Integration of Art and Technology: Web-Based Personal Life Histories

Just in the last few years, the Web has emerged as a powerful new medium for creating and sharing life stories. On the web it is not only possible, it is enjoyable and easy to create a rich multimedia story with text, photos, audio and video. This is the new format of the personal life history.

Web-based personal life histories enjoy several advantages over paper-based publishing, audio, video, or even CD life stories. Specifically, Web-based publication is updateable-one can add new information at any time. It is easily shareable among friends or family. The most advanced sites offer choices of privacy and security protection. The web is also multimedia, meaning you can add text, photos, audio, and video. Photos, audio, video are never lost, damaged destroyed. An finally, many sites offer print-on-demand, allowing you to create instant books. The books may be printed on your home printer, or sent out to small-run publishers. If you choose the small-run option, be sure to specify archival quality paper.

One of the biggest advantages of web publishing is the ability to build community around similar interests, occupations, backgrounds or life events. For example, a WWII veteran pilot who posts his story to the Web and makes it available to the public may be contacted by long-lost friends, other veterans, students, historians, museum personnel, or others interested in this pivotal chapter in American history.

Why Create Your Personal Life History?

Mark Twain once said: "There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is impossibility. Inside everyone, there is a drama, a comedy, a tragedy."

A personal life history can be as short as a few pages, or several volumes in length. Whatever the length or medium, it requires thoughtfulness and sometimes quite a bit of work to accomplish. But the work is worthwhile because it has the ability to influence generations ahead. Your personal life history may leave a legacy for your children and grandchildren. As with memoir, writing a personal history allows you to examine and reflect on your life up to the present day. It lets you add your story to the larger historical record of your family, city, and country. And lastly, if you don't do it, who will?

Start with a Timeline of Life Chapters

How does one start to tell the story of a life that may cover 60, 70, 80 years or more? Often it's helpful to create a chronological timeline of major events in your life. It helps to jot down a few notes around key phases in your life. In fact, you may already be thinking of your life as a book, with separate, distinct chapters built around important life episodes.

Of course, not everyone's life follows an identical chronological sequence, but here are a few ideas for chapter headings for your book or story. GreatLifeStories.com uses the following "chapters" to organize life stories:

o Your Beginnings

o In Your Neighborhood

o School Days

o Off to Work

o Romance and Marriage

o War and Peace

o Triumphs and Tragedies

o Words of Wisdom

o Humor

o Words of Gratitude

The chapter system is very flexible. For example, you don't have to start your life story with the days of your birth and youth. Perhaps you had a fascinating experience during the war. As with a movie, you might open your life story with that "scene," then tell the story how you got there.

Once you've got an idea for the "flow," of your story, here are some more specific guidelines to help add color, texture, and authenticity:

Just start writing! Do a mind dump. Get it out of your head and down on paper, the computer, the tape recorder, wherever. Don't worry about how it sounds. Just write. Resist the temptation to edit yourself; there will be time for editing later. Be yourself. Don't worry if your grammar or spelling isn't perfect. Write it as you would say it.Honesty is everything. The best writing tells it like it happened. Include humor. Favorite jokes, stories, anecdotesDetail, detail, detail. What kind of floor did the kitchen have? What color was the scarf she wore when you first met? Go at a comfortable pace. Don't try to capture an entire lifetime in a single session of furious writing. Write, allow time to reflect, and return again to writing. Consult others. Family members and friends can be invaluable sources of facts and interpretation.Use photos to jog your memory. Tip: Set out photos in a timeline of your life, starting from your very youngest days, and moving through current times. Write or record to your visual storyboardLook for themes in your life. Themes are broad ideas that are central to your life. Did you always want to be a pilot? A preacher? Own a restaurant? Be a farmer? Tell the story of how you met your goal, or how the goal changed to something else totally unexpected.

Here are just a few other thematic life story possibilities: a. The Spiritual quest b. The Confession c. The Travelogue d. The Portrait e. The Complaint f. Humor g. The Family history h. The Road to Recovery i. War Story j. Romance

Another Option: Hire a Professional

Most of this article has been focused on creating the do-it-yourself personal life history. There is, of course, the option of working with a professional. The right professional writer or videographer is a highly skilled interviewer and has the proper tools and equipment. And, believe it or not, it is sometimes easier for someone to open up in front of a stranger rather than in front of a family member.

There are many approaches to working with writers or videographers. However, there are a number of similarities in common. The writer/videographer often:

1) Meets with you to determine the scope and cost of the project.

2) Usually sets up taped interview sessions. Depending on your objectives, these may be an hour or two, or 10, 20 hours or more.

3) The recording is transcribed and edited with your input and guidance

4) Once a final manuscript/movie is agreed upon, it may be sent out for printing or duplication.

5) For books, personal history professionals recommend archival bindings and acid-free paper for longevity

6) You receive the number of books/movies agreed upon in your contract.

7) Be sure to discuss services, fees and end products in advance, and get all agreements in writing.

Thanks to high technology, the art of capturing and preserving the stories from one's own life is now open to more people and easier than ever before. A new genre of personal storytelling is emerging that draws on the literary traditions of the autobiography and memoir, while adding audio, video, and web technology to create personal life histories. On the Web, these personal stories personal life histories are multimedia, collaborative, shareable, and instantly updateable.

Enjoy capturing your life story!

References and Further Reading

Web Sites:

http://www.greatlifestories.com

Associations:

The Association of Personal Historians is a 600+ member organization of professional personal historians who create life stories in all formats: text, audio, video. http://www.personalhistorians.org

How-to Books:

There are many good books filled with different approaches and tips for writing a personal life history. Here are just a few:

Daniel, Lios, How to Write Your Own Life Story

Rainer, Tristine, Your Life as Story Books

Roorbach, Bill, Writing Life Stories

Writing Your Life Story - Tips And Techniques For Success
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Mike Brozda is one of the founding members of the GreatLifeStories team. A veteran journalist, he has more than 30 years experience writing for national and international publications. He has also created more than 150 personal life histories for people across the US, Canada, and Mexico. Contact him at mike.brozda@yahoo.com

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Sunday, December 2, 2012

Four Short Stories of Suspense

1) Belly of the Abyss

A gray form stood beside him.

"Angus?" it said.

Four Short Stories of Suspense

"Delaying me will not help you, I am the only way to death, and perhaps for you peace, follow me!" Said the grass mass.

And by outcome he followed him, across the deep dark city of Caracas, and he looked about as he followed, at last it was full night, and they were on a plane, or at least he was, to the jungles near Angel Falls; night, it had closed in all over the land, and there was a great noise a water, before the plane landed, it was the great falls, and within the following day, he found himself, standing on top of its cliff, Angel Falls, peering below it, it covered all other sounds. Then the gray mass led appeared again to Angus, it was as if-up to this point, he was in a trance. And Angus, stood on the edge of the cliff, a foot away from the wild winds grinding like teeth.

"Angus, it is I," said the gray mass, that had eyes and ears and a wolf-like configuration,

"I love death, a man can love many things, but I dreaded life as a physical human being, it made me shiver, I guess I was always wondering when, and where it would be, death, now I am in its scheme, its substance, its existence, nights are no longer chilled, nor do I get drenched with rain, and if the abyss, or the caves or any pathway within them, get narrow too narrow for a physical being to walk, and if it grows darker, I simple go forward nonetheless, I am not smoldered by it," and the gray mass snarled, and Angus, wondered who and what it was.

Then in the Venezuelan sun, on the top of Angel Falls, Angus fumbled a way, and he fell, his head dizzy beneath this reeking spirit, he got back up, slipped, and clambered, trying to cling onto the airless being, that could only be seen, whose strength was waning to no avail.

"Come down to the abyss with me, if you can find your way out, I will give you anything you ask, die there and let me resurrect you, I have permission from a Hell Lord, to use your soul as I wish. Truly, you are a man whose dark ravine, is kept inside your mind, your dreams, I will rip out a faint strip from the sky, and make all your dreams possible. We will be brothers, as we once were."

Then it occurred to him, it was his brother, who had died several years before, committed suicide, but he would not disclose this any further.

At that moment, the great walls of the falls quivered and echoed,

"Grab the moment," he said to Angus, Satan has his tongue on fire."

And Angus, saw strange things in the sky, shadows were flying all about the rocks, and waterfall, beneath it, and a trail of smoke followed them, and stones crashed down into the waterway below the falls, and the gray mass, hurled himself over the cliff, and with its mighty paws, he climbed slowly back up the falls, in physical form, he had shape changed, turned into a Manta core.

Now there was need for Angus to be bold if not swift, and both would be to his advantage, the gray mass, had turned into a Manta core, the head of a wild man, and body of a lion, and a tail with spikes in it, and it was physical, and he peered over the edge of the falls, heedless, he came forward, Angus, lost all hope: he should not have followed him in the first place, now before him was a deadly creature, the heat and stench of hell followed him.

The creature, mentally summoned him to jump, lest he be torn apart by his paws. At that point, Angus found a strength in his heart, and body, and jumped down the side of the cliff, onto a slender tree, a tree that grew out of the side of the mountain, the very one that harbored the falls, but the body of the great Manta core, towered over him, and with his stretched out paw, swayed the top of the tree, pale was Angus' face, and then the beast heaved the tree as he fell and transformed his shape back into the grey slime he was, and Angus fell to his death, stabbed a hundred times as he fell 3000-feet to the floor of the gully, stabbed by sharp stones and branches from trees and bushes, and he sank into the mud below to his death, and he went into the belly of the abyss, and when he woke up there was his brother, waiting.

Written 10-18-2008, at home, in the evening

2) In a Birdless Sky
(WWI, France)

Chapter One
Facing Death

When dying becomes easier than living, it is easier to face your enemy, thus, peacefulness with repose, even under the harshest conditions, prevails, everything else, means very little.

With a mud covered face gasping, beguiled of being three years in a war, one he never understood, in a country which was foreign to him, in a trench, he never dug out, only lived in, ate in, paced in, sweating from foot to brow in, soot covered him from waist down, creatures, and spiders and disease seeped along the trenches-trenches he never imagined he'd call home.

He thought, now at a corner of the trench, in a hollow by himself, on guard duty to secure the silent and lonely spot, until morning, he thought, looking at a standing German, erect, looking eye to eye with him as he peered over its edge-he thought, facing death at that instant (twilight seeping in-between the waning day): said, to himself, looking into the eyes of the German, perhaps one or two minutes,

"Look here, we are both armed, a few feet apart (thereabouts) you have a rifle, and I got a pistol, both aiming it at one another-somewhere, does it matter where, one must die. But it doesn't necessarily have to be here and now."

Chapter Two
Just one Bullet

It would take just one bullet to finish what he was being paid to do-trained by the British to do, sent overseas by the Americans to Europe to do, and above all, given orders by a French Colonel, and an American Command Sergeant-Major to do, to kill Germans. Just one bullet would put him out of the doughboy war, out of the war business for good.

He, Corporal Anton, didn't even have his helmet on; he dismissed it long ago, hours ago that is, long ago for him: it got in his way, while lying against the wet, damp muddy walls of the trench.

An hour ago he thought,

"I wonder what the colonel would say if he found me without my helmet on, or perhaps the Sergeant-Major," then his second thought was,

"The Colonel and Sergeant-Major, and their entourage, would never be caught in such a position-as in this dirty, muddy and smelly trench, it is like saying, Satan would never be found in the pits of hell, what for, even if it is of his own makings, he has his puppets, they can do the dirty work. Most likely, they, the Colonel and his clan are drinking rum and coke, smoking cigars and eyeing up young French girls, in their cathedral-like, underground den, so secure, a thousand bombs would not penetrate it (he saw it once, and only once, earth and clay and thick broad wooden beams, with six-feet of cement, encased around it, to absorb the shocks)."

"No...!" he told himself, "you'd never find them out here," and in three long years, he never did-one exception, when there was a photo shoot, and then they stood tall and brave with the other cleaned up soldiers, the doughboys, and a week later you read about their feats in the international papers, all with pictures and beautiful phrased sentences, that told about victory at hand, the glory of it, the medals to be handed out after the last great battle.

Chapter Three
In a Bird less Sky

There the German peered overhead, erect as a crane, looking down, rifle in hand, aimed: it must had been a minute or two, they stared into each others eyes (somewhere, one may have thought, had a thought; they were indubitable brothers, at first glance, had they been given a chance to have met under different circumstances that is: had neither one of them been foolish enough to have listened to the drums of war, and followed for glory or whatever treasures they sought, perhaps they both deserved to die for it, for war, it is all part of anarchist-youth).

The German, perhaps the same age of Corporal Anton, the same rank, perhaps even the same ancestry, looked frightened as he stood there rigidly looking into the other's face (Anton lurking into his face), both openly, the German in a frenzy, thoughts vanishing, vanishing...in a birdless sky, vanishing, gone...two bullets hitting their targets, an echo as if in an auditorium.

Chapter Four
Death

Downward sedately-without haste he, Corporal Anton, fell back into his mud like grave, his dirt dugout, now encased in death.

Off balance, the German aimlessly tried to hold his legs straight, in fury he tried to pull his body back up from falling backwards, with one last thrust, to pull himself up, then he zoomed backwards, immobile; now he watched the birdless sky, what he would have thought, was already too late, save, a fading prayer.

When the Colonel saw him, saw, Corporal Anton, the following morning, he was all cleaned up (the body was brought to him), there he stood along side Corporal Anton, a photo shoot took place, the Colonel's face was empty of expression, yet angry words came out, when the movie camera was in motion, "He will get a metal for his bravery," he said to the media, several standing about. There was no exhaustion in his face, not like the same that covered Anton's, not even anguish, just old recognized sentences that came out of a tongue with no hair, words that provoked revenge and steadfastness. Then he went to join the Sergeant-Major, in the Cathedral-room.

Written 10-18-2008, inv Huancayo, Peru, at the Mia Mamma Café, in El Tambo: somewhat inspirited by my Grandfather, who was in WWI, Anton Siluk, born 1891, died, 1974, dedicated to his memory, and his war.

3) Shooting Painted Horses
(A Short Story on Betrayal-1820, along the Mississippi)

Chapter One
Along the Mississippi

The cliffs were all painted with horses, so they looked for Nelly de la Cruz; there was no trace of neither her, nor no sign of her husband, those who had been with them two were dead, shot dead, by smugglers.

By and by, she'd be found, but for now she had escaped the pirates who scanned the upper (northern part, to the central region) of the Mississippi waiting in hollows and crevasses, and caves, and then like sharks, by way of canoes, or rowboats, even barges, they'd, if not by land and horse (gallop to their prey), they'd quickly overpower the innocent, shanghaiing anyone and everyone, for rape, sale, blackmailing, or whate're profit they'd bring, it was treasure they were after; they called themselves the Drake Clan or Gang, after their leader Adam Terrance Drake and there were twenty of them (pirates of the Mississippi, operating in the years of 1810 to 1824).

But today was different, upon their approach two escaped their grips, seldom done, and the chances of getting off in secret, as they did were seldom accomplished, but the patches of the morning fog had allowed just this- the shores were difficult to see, becoming misty, as was the houseboat, a source of inconvenience for the pirates, thick patches of white fog, drifting from one side of the river to the other. But soon abandonment would prevail.

They, the family group with Nelly de la Cruz and her husband Mauricio, who came down on a houseboat all eight of them, were told by Sam Nelson, of the upper Minnesota:

"Don't dare go anywhere beyond Pig's Eye Point, along the shores you could be cut off by pirates, make sure you hire some guns, good shooters somewhere along the way, lest you want to be taken captive for ransom by the pirates."

But hired guns cost money, and they didn't listen of course to Sam, preferred to beat out the river, and kept their cargo aboard, and slowly went down her, "Sam, was right," Nelly's husband would say, just before they jumped into the river to escape; find a place just such as they would wish, and hide until the danger was over.

Seven canoes, with painted faces to cover their identity, white men portraying Indians (the pirates), in canoes had surrounded them, shooting, not taking prisoners, hence, all would die but the two.

They, the pirates had set a watch in the cliffs by what was called, the 'Cliffs by Painted Horses'. The ancient Indians had painted the horses onto the cliffs hundreds of years before, and you could see them with the naked eye while approaching them going down the Mississippi, if indeed one knew the spot and were looking for it. There are dozens of places between the Cliffs of Painted Horses, and others, meaning rock art, on cliffs and rocks, along the Mississippi, but most were hidden from where folks on a boat could see them safely enough.

Chapter Two
The Cave by, Painted Horses

There was a narrow opening between two cliffs, near Painted Horses, and Mauricio crept between them, hiding from the pirates, coming in from off the shore with the booty they had taken from the houseboat, looking for him and his wife, especially his wife, for their personal pleasures, for they had gotten a glimpse of her beauty, and adoring shape, and that immediately sat down deep into their lustful brains, like flags waving in the wind (especially for, Keystone, a young lustful, and bloodthirsty pirate who kept her every inch embedded into his ceremonial mental vaults of what he'd do to her once captured), as I was about to say, they, the pirates had seen her, before she jumped into the river behind her husband, who had jumped off the boat, without even telling her to follow, she simple followed his footsteps nonetheless.

Behind the angle of the well he could see the entrance of the cave called "Painted Horses," the pirates were shooting at his wife, who had entered the cave, and Keystone who had follower her.

By and large, as we can see at this point, he had let her fend for herself, abandoned her. She had looked for him, had lowered her eyes, her brow, her head just a moment, as she ran from the pirates, and when she brought it up to the level where she saw the cave she would enter, he disappeared, she thinking he went inside the cave, where else could he have gone-she instantly pondered, he said not word, not one single solitary word to distract her from going into that legendary cave, the cave known as the maze, the labyrinth of all caves along the Mississippi, that is why the Clan shot at Nelly, and let be bygones thereafter, and let Keystone chase her into a habitat where screaming wildfowl would not dare enter, eminently suited the pirates with less lustful intentions; for the most part, the smuggling had accomplished what they set out to, as for the husband they felt he had drowned.

Chapter Three
Inside the cave of Painted Horses

She had run inside the cave, the mist kept coming, in frequent belts, seeping along the floor of the cave to where Keystone the Pirate could not follow her, he took one forked entrance, Nelly another, as she called in echoes for her husband, whom never answered, and then came sunset, one she did not see, but felt it must be for she had run, then walked and then held her hand against the damp walls of the cave to assist her in her next to crawling erect.

Everything was near to indistinguishable inside the cave, her eyes somewhat adjusted, but she was beyond light, and one entrance let into another, and she could hear the echoes of the pirates voice, not her husband's, and then she knew he had abandoned her, she wanted to believe, had second thoughts even, that out of the confusion, he did what he did, but she knew now, wherever he was, at one point they were both earshot-within a audible range of hearing one another and he did not call out to her, but here the lustful, young pirate, did what a substitute she felt. The trumpeting of his eager voice had dangerously went to a pleading for them to get-together to find a way out, she figured sooner or later they'd bump into one another, then what? was the question: lest they die beforehand, and that would be settled.

The paths were endless, and the young man's voice was always either behind her, in front of her or on the sides of her, but not far from her. Her instincts becoming keener, she knew they'd meet at some crosswalk.

Chapter Four
Mauricio's Escape

Mauricio looked into the cave, the following morning, dark it was, the mist lifted, the pirates gone. He saw Nelly enter it, and he saw the pirate enter it as well, his long knife tucked into his belt, a woodened looking pistol in his hands, a bandana around his forehead, paint on his cheeks, chin and around his eyes. He was frightened of the image he had just formed, and said not a word into the mother cave; elaborate care he took in stepping back from the entrance, satisfied he would not go into it, he felt there was no sense in sticking around-she was not insight, he had done his duty as best he could, his attitude during the dominance of this previous crisis was found to be unconsciously more desirable in saving himself, not getting shot, than saving his wife, and himself, and perhaps getting shot in the process: in which, that would not do anyone any good, so he convinced himself, and thus, she would have to do the same, and so not an evil tough overhung his conscious for wrong doing, nor did he build a rude wall of shame for abandoning his wife-at lest not at this juncture, it was a parallel he felt, saying, "...she ran one way, I ran another..." but of course it wasn't that way, was it?

He found himself climbing up the cliff then once over the edge of the cliff, cautiously throwing himself forward he peered over it once and for all, then ran into the woods, all in fair weather, he ran until his head got dizzy, an old woman fund him on the ground, took him into her home, as though he was her child, or better, a stray cat, in a small town-let deep in the woods.

In time, he would hear after every sunset, wake up, if sleeping, startled by a voice behind him, it was always Nelly's voice calling out: he never said a word on this matter, he lived with the old lady, for eight-years, and thought the matter would be over with his wife, never mentioning her name. But if ever there was a need to talk, he was the one, but never did. So after the old lady's death, he tried to master his purpose, one he never found, and died two years later of alcoholism, at the age of thirty-nine: a bloated body, with a liver that was likened be being frostbitten.

Chapter Five
Nelly and Keystone

There was no end to the cave, its paths, its corners, its entrances, no light, it was now the third day, she heard footsteps, it was his, the pirate's, from silence came a towering body over her's, she was at wits end, laying down against the damp walls of the cave, coughing, dying slowly.

She had thought the matter over for her, death was eminent, and he would not find her, but he did fine her, tired and no longer hiding, just laying where she was, dirty, turned into a prisoner of the mother cave.

She felt his dark human hand on her leg, it was the least likely thing she expected, she said with a bellow-at this stage of the hunt anyway, "What is the matter with you, we are dying, we will be dead soon, and you are thinking of sex?"

He had a sack of rum that was attached to his side belt, oh, just enough to make a person more thirsty, it held perhaps a pint, no more, he had drank most of it, but gave her the last drops of it, saying, "This is my contribution," then received her unwillingly, as if he was entitled to his booty, and she was it. There they lay for two more days, him taking her several times, right up to her death. Then he, died twenty feet down that cold damp passageway from her, and wouldn't be found, until 1902, when a child would be playing above them, falling through a weak spot in the upper crust of the earth, a hole formed by perhaps animals, and thereafter, discovering their bodies.

Parts written 10-15-2008, and 10-17-2008, Huancayo, Peru.

4) Uamak's Demonic Escape

((Part two of: 'Uamak's Aquatic') (The Demon's Sea, over Iceland))

As the evening progressed, I could see there was no peace in the sea below me, the boat was barely in view. I had returned after a year, to see if Uamak was still where I left him, this demonic being, from some ancient culture of the past; this monstrous figure was still on the rock where I had left him (forty miles out of Reykjavik, Iceland), gazing over the cliff into the sea. Thus, I took provision with myself for the night.

The weather was becoming misty, with patches of white fog, drifting towards the shore, with a rising wind, this all made me quite anxious, especially with fading observations.

From the boat, lights from the eyes of its skipper Hela (one of the Hell Lords, under the bondage of Satanae, the lord of eternal night, darkness and no hope) had made a pack with death, to capture by wit, or force all souls, if not half souls, as was Uamak, to his personal realm, for his personal pleasures if not play.

Thus, the lights from his eyes could be seen, they appeared to strike the figure sitting on the rock, Uamak, strike him as if, wrapping him-this half demonic beast, with a penetrating light that paralyzed him, it closed in on every side of the demonic being, from where I could see, and I was on the edge of the cliff, I could see the vessel below me, the inlet, along with the narrow rock that extended out into midair, where the demon was sitting, this titanic being on this great rock.

Uamak, saw me, and of course knew me, from our last visit, a year prior, when he sought my second-insight, to tell him how his death would be, which was at that time in the hands of Hela, it looked like.

The inlet looked almost as if it was a smuggler's den. I could hear the waters below drawn forward and back, banging against the hardness of the rocks like a galloping horse; within a few minutes, I witnessed the vessel swing up onto the shore and rocks of the cliff below, it perhaps remembered me from a year ago, neither one of us seeing the other close up, but both of us being curious.

Under some need to see this being, I lowered myself by rope, desperate and reckless down to the sea's surface, the vessel, determined to see this devilish creature in the flesh, if in fact he had flesh. Once upon the surface, it was rough at best, I stood behind a corner, a wall, stone and clay under my feet, the cliff to by back, I had come down by sheer nerve and guts, not sure where I got them, but they appeared out of nowhere, and here I was.

I now peered into the boat, the blanket of fog had shifted somewhat, and spread back into the sea, leaving me and the boat, and the granite rocks about-staring at one another, clear, visible to the naked eye. Out into the sea I could hear, the thundering sounds of waves, as if there were monster demons waiting for a new soul to be plucked from earth's soil: when one is face to face with the peculiar, and dark side of one's mind imagines the unthinkable. Now this creature in the boat, started spouting black smoke from its mouth, then came out of the smoke, a hand, it reached out to me, it reached beyond its definable limits, my heart beat as I scanned this being and his haunting hand, along with his glass like eyes, there was little chance indeed, I would leave this location, if I was put under his spell, and he was waiting.

He took no shelter from the storm; obstacles were of little offence to him, as to his surroundings, as they were trying for me. My heart now was pulsating wildly. I had been a fact of many strange incidents in my life, of early and later years, but nothing like this had ever crossed my brow.

I moved forward to the creature with imperceptible slowness, I took a very short study of his movements, it showed me he was no longer watching the demonic being he had put into a trance (the one who begged me a year ago, in his somber pleading, to find a way to set him free, to tell him of his death, after death). I noticed Uamak, was out of his trance, I could see him partly peering over the cliff, putting his head forward, I kept the Hell Lord's attention, and he saw that, then Uamak, was no longer looking-unconsciously, like a bullet, imitating one anyhow, he dashed off, I knew he would.

Stiff and still as if incased in stone I stood with both ears listening to the sharp winds building up, the anger of the Hell Lord, I expect. He tried to make a deal with me, saying, he'd give me his power, for my soul, just name the time, a year, ten years, even twenty. But who knows one's time on earth, perhaps I only really had less to live; thus, he'd have gotten the better of the deal. In any case: why would I seek power out of control, it is what he was offering. For once one loses his soul, if indeed he has power, why would he not use it to its limit, no restraints. I said no, and he was again enraged, the first time when he noticed Uamak was gone, now he was losing me.

I knew one thing and perhaps one thing only, being a Christian, and upon him learning I was a Christian, his intent on binding me, decreased, and he became cautious, allowing me to re-climb the rope to safety.

Once on top, I did not see Uamak, and surely there is good reason for that, he escaped the clutches of Hela: once and for all.

Four Short Stories of Suspense
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See Dennis' web site: http://dennissiluk.tripod.com

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Friday, November 30, 2012

Short Story Writing: Article 11: Dialogue

Dialogue

Dialogue, perhaps more than any other aspect of writing, is something one has to develop a feel for, but like other aspects, observing a few simple principles can help us on the way.

Dialogue is definitely not a representation of the way people really speak. Everyday speech is full of repetition and hesitation and mundane comments which are extremely tedious when written down.

Short Story Writing: Article 11: Dialogue

"Good morning Janet, how are you?"

"Oh I'm fine thanks, how are you?"

"Not too bad thanks. Lovely weather today isn't it?" "Yes, gorgeous. Thank goodness that rain has stopped."

"Yes, I thought it would go on for ever. That's a nice dress you're wearing."

"Oh this old thing. I've had it for ages." "Did you watch any television last night?"

"Yes, I saw that film, it had that actor in it, what's his name? Oh goodness what is his name? It's on the tip of my tongue hold on a sec. . . . "

"Johnny Depp?"

"No, um, hold on a sec, it's coming . . . "

The yawning restless reader will not hold on a sec - he will abandon the story.

Dialogue should always be used to convey something important to the plot, and should be a distillation, or edited version, of real speech. It conveys the rhythm and syntax of real speech at its best, with all the roughness and redundancy pared away.

Dialogue needs to convey information to the reader, but in a way which sounds natural. For example if Janet says to Mary:

"Have you heard that John Jones is coming to work for us?"

This line conveys to us that there is a character around called John Jones with whom Janet is acquainted, and it does so in a way which sounds perfectly natural.

Don't overload dialogue with information. If you do it becomes conspicuous and sounds unnatural. For example:

"Have you heard that John Jones, the guy I met on holiday in Majorca last year but who already had a girlfriend and lived in Manchester is coming to work for us?"

Don't be reluctant, as some people seem to be, to put in 'he said', 'she said', 'said Janet', 'said John' after lines of dialogue, but on the other hand, don't put them in too often. We don't need them after every line, but we do need enough to keep us in touch with who is speaking. In a scene with only two characters they can largely be dispensed with, but with three or more characters present the reader will get lost without them. They are much less conspicuous when read than they seem while writing them.

The main objective in writing modern short story dialogue is to keep it brief and to the point. Every word must count, and it must sound natural. Listen to it as you write, and write it as the character would say it.

Copyright: Ian Mackean

http://www.literature-study-online.com/creativewriting/

Short Story Writing: Article 11: Dialogue
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Ian Mackean runs the sites http://www.literature-study-online.com, where his site on Short Story Writing can be found, and http://www.booksmadeintomovies.com. He was a short story and novel writing tutor for many years, and had many of his own stories published in literary magazines. He is the editor of The Essentials of Literature in English post-1914, ISBN 0340882689, which was published by Hodder Arnold in 2005. When not writing about literature or short story writing he is a keen amateur photographer, and has made a site of his photography at http://www.photo-zen.com

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Monday, November 26, 2012

Once Upon a Time in Africa - Stories of Wisdom and Joy (2004) By Joseph G Healey - A Review

This is a unique and intriguing book that remarkably captures the essence of African society in response to and in cooperation with Christianity, other religions, and foreign society. But this is not an academic book laden with complex and boring theories. Rather, the book contains close to 100 short stories that convey experiences of east Africans with christian missionaries from the west. Each story is unique and can convey an African parable, an abridged African story, an encounter with a group of Africans, missionary work in African schools, African response to death and dying, the extent to which Africans compete with each other relative to other world societies, the importance of Africans sharing and running together, how Africans perceive Christianity and foreign behavior, etc. Many of the stories are humorous, but the value message does not become lost. A Maasai moran wonders how great Jesus was. Relating to the Maasai aspect of recognizing greatness and manhood, the moran questions whether Jesus ever killed a lion and how many wives he had.

In a running competition, a nun wonders why the schoolgirls keep crossing the finishing line together. They tell her that they do not want to leave anyone behind, they want to finish together. Many of these stories convey African society as highly cooperative, not heavily dwelling on a person outpointing and crushing the other and taking the spotlight. Africans traditionally do not want to be separated from each other, and will work hard to stay together even when threatened by differences in religious belief. They are far less materialistic than many other societies of the world, they can achieve joy and happiness in the face of poverty and misfortune; they are generally not imbued with that western spirit of materialism, monopoly, and selfishness.

Africans believe in re-incarnation, believing that the spirit of a good person always returns to earth through a newborn, dead ancestors are guardian angels. African societies are shown to have their accounts of creation. African proverbs are numerous and tell a lot about Africans. In the book, Africans are portrayed in their homes, the gardens, in church, in prayer, in hunting, at work, etc. This is indeed a book about African joy and wisdom concisely illustrated with short significant stories, tales, proverbs, encounters and happenings.

Once Upon a Time in Africa - Stories of Wisdom and Joy (2004) By Joseph G Healey - A Review

Father Joseph Healey, who is originally from the United States and has operated in east Africa for several decades, managed to compile a gem of a book that one never gets tired of reading. Healey's extensive practical familiarlization with many African languages and ways of life made him the ideal candidate to compile this heart-warming and objective volume. More than any other text, the book illustrates joy and wisdom in the day-to-day basic lives of Africans and their response to a new world that gets smaller and smaller and becomes more connected. The contents also illustrate how people from other parts of the world practically respond to and perceive African life. The stories in this book are short, but their messages are very powerful. Lessons on Africa are conveyed through aspects of adventure, ministering, religion, folklore, prayer, stories, African culture, poetry, spirituality, and tales.

Once Upon a Time in Africa - Stories of Wisdom and Joy (2004) By Joseph G Healey - A Review
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Jonathan Musere

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Thursday, November 22, 2012

"A Day's Wait" Short Story - A General Analysis

Regarding the plot of this short story, "A Day's Wait" by Ernest Hemingway, and to obtain a general understanding, it involved a nine-year-old child named Schatz, his father, and his doctor. Schatz believed that he is going to die when the doctor told his father that he is suffering from a fever of 102 degrees.

The story took place before 9:00 a.m. one morning when Schatz walked into his father's room looking ill and after 11:00 a.m. when his father returned from hunting and found him being uncooperative. The season is either fall or winter because of frozen ice on the ground. The story took place at Schatz's residence and appeared to be in a country other than France by all indications. Contemporary time seemed evident from the story based on various references.

Schatz being diagnosed with a 102 degree temperate started the critical stage. His knowledge of the differences in the reading of the thermometers ended the critical stage. The story concluded when he realized he is not going to die from the high temperature. He returned to a calming state thereafter and cried at every little thing of no importance.

"A Day's Wait" Short Story - A General Analysis

The structure of the story showed a very complicated process. The structural complication started when Schatz walked into his father's room and moved slowly as if he were aching and appearing to be ill. The conflict occurred when his father touched his forehead and determined that Schatz had a fever.

 The crisis started when the doctor diagnosed Schatz with a fever of 102 degrees, treated him for influenza and prescribed medication. Schatz had the impression that he will die because of a belief he experienced in France when the boys there told him temperatures over forty-four degrees caused death. The ending of the crisis occurred when his dad told him about the differences in reading a thermometer. The climax occurred when he realized that he is not going to die. The resolution period occurred when he relaxed after realizing he is not going to die, and cried about everything of little or no importance.

Schatz characterization is that of a protagonist in the story. He displayed both positive and negative characteristics. He is a very determined nine year old child with a set mind. He displayed a strong will and seemed not easily shaken from his position. He has a good memory by recalling what the boys who attended school in France had told him about individuals dying from temperature above forty-four degrees.

Schatz could also be classified as an antagonist in this story. He fought to prevent himself from overcoming his illness. He appeared to be his own worst enemy. He believed everything he heard especially the story from the boys in France. He appeared to be a snotty nose brat who would not listen to his father, and reprimand his helpers at home in his father's absence. He acted disobediently and shunned those who tried to help him.

The main movers in this story are Schatz's father who eventually calmed him down and the doctor who had diagnosed Schatz's with influenza, temperature above 102 degrees, and treated him with medication. The background people in this story are the schoolboys in France who planted the idea of death in Schatz's mind. The people at his residence who tried to help him and whom he refused to let into the room after his father went hunting with his Irish setter dog are also movers. Howard Pyle's reading from the Book of Pirates, and the unknown third party in the room with Schatz's father (presumed parent) when he first entered and looking ill also moved the story along.

The sidekicks in this story are the people Schatz's refused to let into his room after his father went hunting with his Irish setter dog. These individuals are probably servants who carried out the biddings of Schatz.

Regarding the theme, this story has several of them as follows. The first theme is "Don't believe what you hear." In this story Schatz believed what he had heard from the boys in France about a person dying when the temperate goes above forty-five degrees. He did not check out the facts, and as a result, he believed that he would die because his temperature is 102 degrees. The second theme is "Don't' give up so easily." Schatz refused to fight his illness to the end. He gave up and is awaiting death because of his belief about the higher temperature. The third is, "After the storm there must be a calm." We see Schatz reaching a state of calming down after he realized that he is not going to die. His calming down state of mind is a result of the differences in the temperature which his father explained to him after he learned about what the boys in France told his son about the temperatures above forty-five degree causing death.

The resolution occurred when Schatz returned to normal and accepted his father's opinion and explanation regarding the difference in the temperature and the thermostat. He was once again friends with everyone and his life returned to normal. This is really an interesting short story by Ernest Hemingway, which spelled out all the corresponding elements quite clearly. 

"A Day's Wait" Short Story - A General Analysis
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Joseph S. Spence, Sr. (aka "Epulaeryu Master"), is the author of "The Awakened One Poetics" (2009), which is published in seven different languages. He also co-authored two poetry books, "A Trilogy of Poetry, Prose and Thoughts for the Mind, Body and Soul" (2005), and "Trilogy Moments for the Mind, Body and Soul," (2006). He invented the Epulaeryu poetry form, which focuses on succulent cuisines. Joseph is a Goodwill Ambassador for the state of Arkansas. He has completed over twenty years of service with the U.S. Army.

[http://www.trilogypoetry.com/]

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Monday, November 19, 2012

Mommy Humor - Funny Short Story - Lying

This is a funny short story about lying. Lying is a learned skill. Some people are good at it, and others are not. Poker players can't win without being great at it. Politicians can't get elected without perfecting the art. As parents, we need to be able to detect it. The key for the liar is knowing when to make the attempt (you can get away with it) and when to show restraint. Thankfully most of our young children are really bad at it now, but I predict that unfortunately they'll get better at it as they get older. This funny short story won't help you deal with the lying, but hopefully it'll cheer you up while you're dealing with it.

We have two kids; they're around the same age (girl-9 and boy-7). They're also around the same size which becomes important when fists fly, but doesn't really come into play for the lying thing. As you no doubt have already guessed (based on your own vast experience), the most common case is a pair of fingers pointing in the opposite direction.

I know SOMEBODY did it. It's not even worth my time to ask Mommy if SHE did it because when was the last time Mommy mistakenly (or lazily) dropped a half-eaten candy cane on the carpet floor? And sure, I had a couple of drinks last night, but I don't even LIKE candy canes. No, the guilty party is definitely standing right in front of me. All I have to do is figure out who it is.

Mommy Humor - Funny Short Story - Lying

Here's the funny part: While I'm planning my next move in response to the criss-cross of accusational fingers, the guilty party fesses up!... and I can't for the life of me figure out why! Perhaps it's because both of them (or at least the guilty one) didn't take the time to ponder how even Sherlock Holmes would be at a loss at where to start. It's not out of fear; I've never even raised my voice to either of them (I'm saving that for the right moment, like for the first time one of them drinks and drives or performs some other life threatening sin of stupidity).

The punishment is minor. Pick up the candy cane and spend a minute or so rubbing the sticky carpet with a damp sponge... or if the offense was failing to put away the Wii video game you lose one day of access to the device. My best guess is that the lack of sting included in the punishment is what's helping in the perpetrator discovery phase.

The kids don't do any better in the flip-side scenario. "Who spilled food coloring all over the fireplace?" produces the two pointing fingers, but only one of them is covered in purple food coloring. It's hard to not laugh.

Another funny short story (shorter but funnier), about a year ago I went on a walk with my friend and his two kids. In the interest of his privacy I neither confirm nor deny that this friend is a relative of mine, or even that this friend exists outside of my vivid imagination. Anyway, I'm talking on my cell phone and at some point there's a commotion that catches my attention. I hear my friend say, "I'm sure he wasn't TRYING to kick you!" The boy interjects, "I WAS trying to kick her, but I missed and kicked her bike instead."

Well there you have it. They've got a lot to learn before graduating from law school. In the meantime let's be thankful for their lack of skill in the art of deception, hoping that it takes as long as possible for them to catch on. Also in the meantime it provides plenty of material for a funny short story.

DISCLAIMER: While the events described above are representative of true to life events in the life of the author, details of the story may be fuzzy or embellished for the benefit of the reader's enjoyment and for the benefit of SEO (Search Engine Optimization - the keyphrase is "funny short story"... Admit it, that's what you typed into the search box).

Mommy Humor - Funny Short Story - Lying
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